Xenophobe's Guide to the Chinese (Paperback)
The Chinese are inordinately proud of having invented, among a whole host of other things, the compass (without which the world would have got lost), paper (without which books would not exist), the printing press (ditto), porcelain (no pretty matching chinaware), silk (no decadence), pasta (what would the Italians eat?), the wheelbarrow (how would civilisation have fared without it?) and the bristle toothbrush. A guide to understanding the Chinese which dispels or confirms preconceived prejudices with humor and insight.
Zhu Song has three phrases she dislikes: "Where are you from?," "Why, you speak perfect English!," and "You're so lucky to be able to speak Chinese!" Her responses are "How much time do you have?," "Why yes, I speak it better than you," and "That's because I am Chinese. Fancy that." The Chinese expect rusty Mandarin, the English an Asian accent, and the Americans an American one. She routinely confounds them all.